


but I don't like a gold rush

by leilaodinson



Series: evermore [1]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Connie leaves, F/M, He doesn't know it yet, He's a mess but he's thirsty as fuck, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Steve is in love, Steve likes Javi and doesn't even question it, aren't we all, i mean same, javi takes care of steve, not a song fic but kinda inspired by it, so please be kind, this is my first fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29304507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leilaodinson/pseuds/leilaodinson
Summary: Steve arrives in Colombia and meets his new partner, Javier Peña.He has an idea of what to expect. But certainly catching feelings was not it.
Relationships: Connie Murphy/Steve Murphy (Narcos), Steve Murphy & Javier Peña, Steve Murphy/Javier Peña
Series: evermore [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2152380
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	but I don't like a gold rush

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! After many years lurking here, I've decided to finally write something. I'm obsessed with Pedro Pascal, Narcos, and Javier/Steve. This is my first fic, so please be kind. English is not my mother language, so if there's any mistakes, please let me know! Special thanks to [claveldelaire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/claveldelaire/pseuds/claveldelaire), my new fangirl friend <3  
> Title is from [gold rush](https://youtu.be/Pz-f9mM3Ms8) by Taylor Swift. If you haven't listened to her last two albums, I don't know what you're doing.

_gleaming, twinkling, eyes like sinking ships on waters, so inviting..._

From the moment Steve met Javier and their hands touched in that handshake, he felt electricity. Sure, he was nervous about starting to work at the Embassy and meeting his colleagues. He knew that he would have to get used to a new work environment and, above all, to the customs and ways of Colombia.

So when he touched Javier's hand and felt static from the tips of his fingers to pretty much the rest of his body, he attributed it to that: the nerves, the anxiety. To the heat of Colombia, that made his beige suit stick to his skin. Such a warm place, it made everything seem like it was underwater.

What he didn't know at the time is that that feeling would never go away. Not even when they were frustrated at not getting new leads or intel so they could catch Escobar. Or when they were running across the roofs of Bogotá while chasing Escobar's mercs.

But all of a sudden, Steve's favorite moments were when he was with Javi. That's another thing: it was no longer "Peña" or "Javier". Just "Javi". Steve had started collecting the moments they spent together, particularly after hours, the two of them sitting at their desks. Drinking whiskey and smoking. Another moment where everything felt underwater. As an alternate reality, where he understood why Javier was electricity.  
Why sometimes when Javier looked at him, Steve lost a Little bit of his breath and his chest felt tight.

The days began to blur. The smells, the sensations. Steve had already become one with his desk chair, his phone. The smell of cigarettes and whiskey, mixed with the aroma of the paper in his archives and the old wood of the Embassy furniture.  
He no longer knew what was up and what was down. Between the heat, the frustration of not catching Escobar, the confusion of not knowing what was going on with Javi and now having to take care of a baby girl at home, his mind, heart, and body couldn't catch a break.

And then Connie left.

It was at that moment that everything he was feeling was amplified and he felt like breaking, like his body was about to give up. Even beating the shit out of a man at the airport felt liberating at that point.

The days kept blurring, blending, and he was still frustrated, angry, and confused. But he was also now, alone. Luckily, he had Javi, who cared about whether Steve would eat. He made coffee in the morning and pour him whiskey in the evening. He had also started hugging him every night when they would say their goodbyes and realized how much he missed contact and human touch.

He was starting to feel a little bit lighter. But as per usual, when things would start to look up, something bad happened.  
Connie called one night a let him know she was not coming back to Colombia and staying with Olivia in Miami. This was the final breaking point for him.  
That night, sitting on his couch, with a bottle and two glasses on the table, he cried in Javi's arms.  
There was something in his eyes that he couldn't figure out. Had those eyes always been so dark?

And that's when he knew.

Now, Steve considered himself a pretty smart person, but apparently, he was a fucking idiot.

He had noticed before. Javi's eyes. So brown, so deep they looked black. How he could say everything with one look. Steve had also started to take note of how to pick up on the humor of his partner.

Steve would stare when Javi was writing on his typewriter, then he would look up at him and say:  
"Can I help you with something, Murphy?" And Steve would laugh. Highlight of his day.

He had noticed. The tight bright colored shirts, the tight pants. That fucking leather jacket and its smell, that followed Steve even to his bed. The yellow-tinted glasses, the sometimes fluffy hair, his mustache. The way sweat would rest on Javi's face, but also drip down his neck and into his collarbones, going down his chest, and then hiding beneath his shirt.  
He would get this strange feeling at the pit of this stomach whenever Javi flirted with a woman in front of him, and then he was angry, snapping at him for no reason at all.

Yes, Steve was a fucking idiot alright.

How did he not realize it before? Of course. Of course he liked Javi.  
He had feelings for him. Whatever it was, it had always been there.  
Just like Colombian heat, sticking to his clothes, hiding beneath the fabric, waiting for its moment to get out of its hiding place.

Very quickly, Steve realized that there was no point in fighting his new feelings. That was when his chest began to feel less tense. He felt that he could finally breathe again. When the frustration, anger, and confusion started to fade and making room for things. Javi-related things.

Now, what should he do? Should he say something? And how? Does Javi even like men? Also, he was still married. Although there was no going back with Connie, it was over. Should he take a chance? All of these questions kept popping up in his head, but he still had no answers.

Steve's stares and touches were getting longer and of all a sudden, everything was Javi. He was everywhere, everything made Steve think of him. There was always something happening, they would get close to dying and there were moments when Steve felt brave enough to say something, to make a move. But then fear would creep in, and he would keep his mouth shut.

How would he go about this? He figured it had to be just like when he tried to pick up a woman at a bar, just like he did with Connie. He would ask their number, ask them on a date. So, that's what he did. It couldn't be that much different.

Friday night. Just him and Javi at his apartment. Some food, some alcohol, the usual. There was music on, trying to fill the silence between the two of them. They were sitting at the table, not too many lights on. Javi looked much softer in the dim light. Or maybe Steve's eyes were getting blurry. Either way, he didn't know what move to make. 

After many moments of consideration, and overthinking, Steve decided that it was best to be direct about this. So, he, breaking the silence, asks:  
"Javi."  
"What?"

Is Steve really gonna do this?

"Have you ever kissed a man?"

Steve is really gonna do this.  
Javi opens his eyes really wide and snorts around his bottle, almost spitting his beer. He swallows.  
"What!?"  
"Have you ever kissed a man?" Steve repeats.  
"Where's this coming from?"  
"I'm just curious."  
"Oh, really?"  
"Yes."

Seconds pass between them, staring at each other. The sounds from the Colombian streets kept getting louder and louder.  
Javi speaks. "Yes. Yes, I have." He looks down and just as he was about to take another drink, Steve speaks again.  
"Would you like to kiss me?"  
Javi freezes. "Murphy, what the fuck?"  
"I said-"  
"Yes, I know what you said. What's up with these questions?"  
"Javi."  
"¿QUÉ?" _What?_ He's starting to get angry at him, Steve can tell.  
"Quiero besarte." _I wanna kiss you._  
"WHAT!?"  
"I said I wanna-"  
"YES, I heard you the first time."  
"So? Can I?"

Steve has never seen this look on Javi's face. He almost drops his beer.  
Steve laughs.  
"Don't laugh." He pauses. "Yes, you can kiss me."  
Steve gets serious all of a sudden. Puts down his beer on the table and stands up. He walks over to where Javi is sitting, and when he stops, his legs are touching Javi's knees, and he's looking up at him.

"Come here," Steve says.

They're staring at each other's eyes, almost without blinking.  
Javi puts down his beer and gets up. In a second, they're touching. One of his hands goes right to Steve's waist and the other one grabs his elbow.  
At the same time, Steve grabs his face, his neck. The only thing they hear is their heavy breathing. Javi is almost panting. 

They keep staring and each other's lips. And then, Steve leans in and kisses Javi. The kiss stills for a moment, but in a second, they're moving.  
Steve can't believe this. He's actually kissing Javi. Holy shit.  
He should have done this sooner. Much sooner. But that doesn't matter, because he feels Javi's tongue touching his, massaging each other, tasting the beer they were having moments ago.  
Javi is moving his hands up and down his back, Steve grabbing his face and he can't get enough.  
It starts slow but after a few seconds, it turns a little rough, teeth clicking, lips biting. Like they were holding back all of this time, and now they can't seem to stop. 

Javi moans, but they need to breathe. They separate, foreheads touching, breathing into each other's mouths.  
"Holy shit. Fuck." Javi says, panting.  
"Yeah," Steve answers him.  
And they're laughing, holding their faces, and smiling. Then, Javi stops, gets this serious look on his face:  
"Are you...are you just curious?"  
Steve laughs, throwing his head back. Javi just frowns at him.  
"Did that look like just curiosity to you?"  
"Just asking. I have to make sure. Listen, Steve, I...I really like you. I care about you. I didn't know what to do. You're my partner, and you're married-"  
"I really like you too, Agent Peña."  
Javi smiles, eyes full of adoration. "Really?"  
"Really." They hug, bodies pressed together, feeling each other's warmth. 

Steve doesn't know what's going to happen tomorrow. When they will catch Escobar (because they WILL catch him). Whether he's going to see Connie again or what's going to happen with her. 

All he knows is this: Javi's perfume when he nuzzles and kisses his neck, the way his skin feels beneath his lips, how soft his hair is and how perfect and how in place he suddenly feels.

And that, for today, is enough. 

_...I almost jump in._

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! I'm thinking about writing more parts.  
> You can find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/leilavillares) and [Tumblr](https://theleilashow.tumblr.com/)


End file.
